A Fancy Test Post


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Phasellus pretium, nibh et dignissim maximus, mi eros cursus metus, vel varius metus purus eget tortor. Mauris orci ipsum, tristique in diam sit amet, pulvinar fringilla metus. Orci varius natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Morbi ut pellentesque purus. Aenean laoreet quam in odio consectetur hendrerit. Etiam in quam a massa tempus rutrum. Morbi posuere metus id enim dapibus, at hendrerit nisl ullamcorper. Sed tincidunt diam ut iaculis tristique. Vivamus cursus lacus et cursus sollicitudin. Vestibulum interdum dui purus, id mollis augue tempor vitae. Vestibulum vel malesuada justo, et iaculis sapien.

Pellentesque in dapibus dolor. Nullam lacinia quis nibh id rhoncus. Morbi non nisl non arcu vulputate scelerisque quis at elit. Vestibulum augue leo, scelerisque non ultrices et, sagittis ac justo. Vestibulum dictum ex a nibh posuere tincidunt. Nullam et tempus sapien, sit amet vehicula massa. Aenean vel rutrum est, in condimentum turpis. Etiam non dapibus orci. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Quisque vel placerat ante, eu elementum orci. Nam euismod velit et ligula efficitur vulputate. Donec congue nunc at volutpat molestie. Nam interdum laoreet tincidunt. Mauris auctor vel sem quis fringilla.

A New Post

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nunc eget auctor elit. Vivamus diam velit, porta a molestie ut, scelerisque sit amet purus. Donec vitae molestie nibh. Pellentesque imperdiet venenatis sem, ut gravida elit. Aenean ut ipsum fringilla, porttitor libero et, eleifend ligula. Vestibulum faucibus pretium risus, nec tempor velit blandit ac. Proin sit amet porta nunc, nec pellentesque nulla. Fusce convallis, mauris eu tristique lobortis, orci leo porta nulla, a mollis ipsum lectus eget neque. Nunc tincidunt ligula eget metus condimentum rhoncus. Cras convallis eleifend felis volutpat dictum. Quisque sollicitudin, purus eu condimentum pellentesque, magna eros finibus risus, id facilisis sapien libero ut justo. Cras finibus velit lacus, ac egestas tortor molestie ac. Curabitur scelerisque metus augue.

Donec scelerisque arcu lorem, ut efficitur sapien volutpat eget. Curabitur vel enim pulvinar, accumsan felis sed, auctor lectus. Nullam mollis, mauris ac eleifend rutrum, erat elit viverra turpis, in suscipit augue sapien eu sapien. Donec auctor aliquam arcu vel blandit. Suspendisse rhoncus mollis massa quis mattis. Nullam iaculis, eros mollis porttitor consectetur, enim ligula venenatis lacus, quis pretium nibh mi id est. Sed consectetur gravida risus, at varius ante consectetur quis. Maecenas sed turpis dui. Vivamus quam ligula, pretium ac tellus nec, euismod luctus nibh. Ut facilisis congue ex, et dapibus nunc rutrum quis. Vestibulum pretium cursus lacus, sed imperdiet lorem rutrum a. Vivamus non felis tristique, fermentum arcu sed, vehicula quam. Duis tempor lorem ex, in consequat lectus condimentum id. Nam purus justo, commodo in iaculis non, malesuada non libero.

Praesent lacinia viverra justo, in suscipit lorem. Proin elit metus, ultrices in congue id, accumsan id ante. Morbi ullamcorper hendrerit nibh, at blandit ante euismod in. Morbi ut dolor nulla. Nulla varius molestie iaculis. Aenean ultrices justo enim, ac sollicitudin lectus aliquet in. Cras odio orci, ultricies ac turpis ac, efficitur venenatis velit. Phasellus convallis eget ante et semper. Proin ullamcorper erat nisi, quis pretium felis lobortis ut. Mauris ultrices lorem vitae nisi scelerisque imperdiet. Sed nunc dui, dignissim quis leo sed, pellentesque maximus felis. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis at risus tempor, lobortis lorem sit amet, bibendum erat. Pellentesque eu augue id urna vehicula semper.

Praesent posuere nunc non sodales lobortis. Suspendisse consequat nulla a gravida vehicula. Pellentesque feugiat leo dolor, et porttitor velit consequat faucibus. Morbi elementum odio eget odio venenatis, vitae rutrum purus aliquam. Aliquam euismod turpis quis enim ultrices convallis. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Nullam vel tincidunt ex. Praesent porta velit sit amet justo tincidunt elementum. Donec eu scelerisque felis. Sed id sapien in nulla imperdiet sagittis in eu tortor. Duis aliquam efficitur libero, quis commodo felis feugiat vitae. Donec volutpat enim leo, egestas euismod quam consectetur eu. Nullam ornare magna ligula, et lobortis enim fermentum sed. Donec a sodales tellus, in fermentum urna.

Gutenberg Samples

An adventure in block testing fun. If this triggers a test post to my co-workers, happy new year! 

This is a Header

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Testimonial Block

This company is the best company to ever company. 

avatar

Fran Consumer

Boss of You

Alert Box

Warning!

Fabulousness ahead.

Card

avatar

Adorable Fox

Chief Cuddly Officer

Look at the snookum face. 

Drop Cap

Drop caps make everything fancier, no?

Default Image Block

Origami peacock in sparkling glitter paper.
Pretty.

Accordion 

This Looks So Official

OMG, the lower-case i in the header font is obnoxious. 

Block Quote 1

Sometimes, you want to eat a burger, and sometimes you just want to dip your fries in ketchup. Or something. 

Just a Button

Team Member Block

Dapper Booms

Dapper is the Director of Crushin’ It.

Dapper is in charge of innovation on the bleeding edge. His paradigms are optimized and his life is bio-hacked. He is the newest experience in VR megapixels. 

Numbers! 

Awesome Quotient

99

99 users agree, we’re the best. 

Meaningless Metric

1,234

This means nothing, but it looks good. 

Shocking stat

4/5

Experts recommend our competitor

Our Markup

£99.99

Just set your cash on fire instead.

Call to Action

Take Action Now 

Act now or the crisis of babies eating grizzly bears will continue. Only you can stop the bear-eating baby terror. 

Posts Block

This is a Testing Post

Me fail English? That’s unpossible. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… I’ll be back. You…

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Testing Post Number Two

Red Five standing by. The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. Partially, but it also obeys your commands. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I…

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The Third in a Series of Testing Posts

Well, I didn’t vote for you. You don’t vote for kings. Burn her anyway! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! We want a shrubbery!! Well, I got better. Now, look here, my good man. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. Camelot! Well, I got better. You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and…

Continue reading

May the Fourth Testing Post Be With You

You don’t believe in the Force, do you? You don’t believe in the Force, do you? But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel…

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Feature

Feature Title

Some feature description for an awesome feature

Feature Title

Feature Grid

Feature 1
Feature 1

Some feature description for an awesome feature

View More

Feature 2
Feature 2

Some feature description for an awesome feature

View More

Icon List

  • Milk
  • Bread
  • Peanut butter
  • Eggs
  • Apples
  • Cauliflower

Image Thing

Super

So cool.

Great

Super great.

Wonderful

Very good stuff.

Numbered List Grid

01

Registration

This is just a sample write-up, but you can check out more info on Gutenberg on the WP repository.

02

Waiting Period

This is just a sample write-up, but you can check out more info on Gutenberg on the WP repository.

03

Delivery

This is just a sample write-up, but you can check out more info on Gutenberg on the WP repository.

Video Pop Up

Recipe Blocks

Ingredients

  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1/8 teaspoon ginger
  • 1 stick butter

StePs

  • Mix things
  • Preheat the oven
  • Bake the thing
  • Let the thing cool
  • Eat the thing

A Gute Post With Image Blocks, and stuff

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This is an image, yo.

This is a caption. 

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This is a blockquote

You’re my favorite. 

by me.

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This is a list

  • Milk
  • Eggs
  • Cheese
  • Bananas
  • Bread
  • Butter

Donec eleifend porttitor mi at porttitor. Phasellus vestibulum urna nec lectus euismod aliquet. Sed semper a risus vitae gravida. Sed finibus dolor vel sollicitudin gravida. Curabitur imperdiet non magna ut mollis. Maecenas sodales metus in scelerisque gravida. Curabitur ipsum ipsum, tincidunt ut leo in, egestas porta quam. Duis fringilla, arcu nec tempor hendrerit, elit neque malesuada quam, id convallis mi leo ut risus. Aliquam quam velit, iaculis vitae nibh et, suscipit varius ex. Vestibulum posuere ultricies tincidunt. Cras non quam in metus fringilla ultricies at quis erat. Donec in ante nec mi bibendum finibus. Cras viverra et lacus vel dictum. In commodo commodo hendrerit. Sed pellentesque arcu risus, in malesuada elit gravida in.

Another Caption. 

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A post with many tags

Cupcake ipsum dolor sit amet powder croissant dragée. Liquorice jelly beans tootsie roll cake sesame snaps sweet roll tiramisu apple pie chocolate cake. Caramels chocolate cake muffin sugar plum I love candy. Fruitcake tiramisu icing lollipop. Oat cake icing apple pie cupcake marzipan I love gingerbread carrot cake. Candy soufflé candy ice cream apple pie lemon drops.

Cheesecake jelly-o gummi bears bear claw chocolate bar cotton candy wafer pastry. Gingerbread chocolate bar pudding candy canes. Pie cake I love oat cake sugar plum macaroon apple pie pie. I love chocolate bar cotton candy chocolate cake. Ice cream toffee fruitcake cupcake I love jelly wafer. Toffee lollipop tootsie roll jelly beans sweet roll I love cookie.

Cookie I love I love. Sesame snaps soufflé soufflé. Chocolate cake halvah danish fruitcake macaroon pie cotton candy oat cake. Dragée cheesecake I love. Pie candy canes soufflé candy canes marshmallow fruitcake. Chocolate bar I love cheesecake. Sesame snaps cookie gingerbread I love tootsie roll chocolate cake.

Soufflé I love jelly beans sugar plum. Carrot cake icing apple pie fruitcake carrot cake. Lollipop cotton candy sugar plum I love cake danish cake. I love lollipop jujubes I love. Dragée tart chupa chups pudding candy. Sesame snaps sugar plum chupa chups I love lollipop lemon drops halvah. I love I love jujubes.

Ice cream icing sesame snaps. Cheesecake cotton candy biscuit sweet roll I love. Powder wafer bonbon. Gummi bears I love danish gummies. Fruitcake chupa chups bonbon I love sweet dessert sweet. Lemon drops cake chocolate cake cookie pie bear claw. Cotton candy chocolate bar I love I love dragée sweet roll candy icing. Danish marshmallow bear claw croissant I love.

The Fifth One

Really?!

Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you. So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct? When the lights go out, it’s nobody’s business what goes on between two consenting adults.

It must be wonderful. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! How much did you make me? There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors!

It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too.

And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. I just told you! You’ve killed me! I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.

  1. Oh, you’re a dollar naughtier than most.
  2. Can I use the gun?
  3. What kind of a father would I be if I said no?

Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.

Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too.

  • I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool.
  • Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.
  • Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

But I’ve never been to the moon! Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away!

Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

Oh yeah, good luck with that. Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Daddy Bender, we’re hungry. Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.

Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” This opera’s as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can’t just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!

Shut up and get to the point! That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Is that a cooking show? No, she’ll probably make me do it.

Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Hello, little man. I will destroy you! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry’s worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!

Your best is an idiot! Ummm…to eBay? I just told you! You’ve killed me! What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Throw her in the brig.

And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? Actually, that’s still true. Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.

May the Fourth Testing Post Be With You

You don’t believe in the Force, do you?

You don’t believe in the Force, do you? But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

Ye-ha! No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… Ye-ha! A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master. I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.

You don’t believe in the Force, do you?

What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home!

  1. Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. It’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
  2. All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it?
  3. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this?

What?!

In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is.

  • Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is.
  • I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.
  • Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. I call it luck. The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.

I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. Red Five standing by. I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.

Don’t underestimate the Force. You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home!

I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly…

I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me.

Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Partially, but it also obeys your commands. Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? He is here. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. Don’t underestimate the Force. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time!

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. What!? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–

You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home! Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Red Five standing by. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

The Third in a Series of Testing Posts

Well, I didn’t vote for you.

You don’t vote for kings. Burn her anyway! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! We want a shrubbery!! Well, I got better. Now, look here, my good man.

No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. Camelot! Well, I got better. You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

Camelot!

Camelot! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! What a strange person. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

  1. You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!
  2. Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
  3. Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!

How do you know she is a witch? You don’t vote for kings. We want a shrubbery!! Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

  • Well, I got better.
  • Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
  • You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! Well, we did do the nose. But you are dressed as one… Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

And the hat. She’s a witch! You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. You don’t vote for kings. It’s only a model. Oh, ow!

Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Where’d you get the coconuts? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Look, my liege! The nose?

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! She looks like one.

…Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. Well, how’d you become king, then? I’m not a witch. Be quiet!

Where’d you get the coconuts? Bring her forward! We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us. You don’t vote for kings. You don’t vote for kings.

What do you mean? But you are dressed as one… Well, I didn’t vote for you. And the hat. She’s a witch! Shut up!

What do you mean? On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place. Shut up! Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Bring her forward! Shut up! Will you shut up?! You don’t vote for kings. Well, how’d you become king, then? The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Be quiet!

Look, my liege! Where’d you get the coconuts? It’s only a model. Well, I got better. Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, what do you want?

Testing Post Number Two

Red Five standing by.

The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. Partially, but it also obeys your commands. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide.

Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? I find your lack of faith disturbing. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.

Sewing tools: tape measure, thread, shears, thimble, and a button

A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? You don’t believe in the Force, do you? Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home!

  1. Ye-ha!
  2. Ye-ha!
  3. Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you’re going.

You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home!

Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Red Five standing by. Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine.

  • I care. So, what do you think of her, Han?
  • The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.
  • I’m trying not to, kid.

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… You don’t believe in the Force, do you?

Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Red Five standing by. Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything. There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. It’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan– Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.

Don’t underestimate the Force. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–

What!? I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home! I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.

In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The Force is strong with this one. I have you now.

I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time!

In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me. I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base.

This is a Testing Post

Me fail English? That’s unpossible.

Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.

And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.

What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

  1. Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
  2. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.
  3. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.

  • Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.
  • A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
  • Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”

Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.

A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. I hope I didn’t brain my damage. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.

Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Human contact: the final frontier. You don’t win friends with salad. Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO! Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Ahoy hoy? But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!